~ Dairy Special ~

One Single Tear Day 31 ~ The Truth Behind The One Single Tear ~

I looked back in the pages…
I was amazed, wow, 30 days have passed since I started writing the One Single Tear Dairy…
But I discovered that I’ve never mentioned the reason behind this, the true story falls beneath it…
It’s a weird story, started with a new and happy friendship and turned into a sad and painful moments, where struggling alone is the only key word for it…

Happiness, Smiles, laughs, love mixed with sadness, tears, pain and illness…This story started 10th of December 2006, when I first noticed Hyo, young guy at his early 20s, short, black hair, stylish appearance…
We are at the same university, but for me, making new friends after my best friend died in front of my eyes is just way far of my reach…
Right after Rami died 5 years ago I became frightened of knowing new people,,, the first time I met Xeonash I wasn’t that sure about it, a step forward and a step backward, but I met him and became friends, but this is not the point I still frightened of getting new people to my side, most of the time I use my old friends to introduce me to other people, it’s the principle of me introducing myself is the problem…

Doctors told me that I have MS about 3 months after Rami’s tragedy, and as long as my mind is not stable, looking for a substitute for the one I lost is the best solution to maintain my condition at a safe level, for sorry there are no medicines to cure the MS, and mostly it’s like ” if you are happy the diagnosis won’t show up, get sad and you will see the hell of life “…

Look it up yourselves in the internet, the diagnosis are painful and curing this is just doesn’t exist yet…
The quest doctors said it may help me started when I returned to KSA, I don’t really know why I didn’t started it in Japan, maybe because I want someone speaks my language and from the same culture…
Started with brhoom, he was mean I canceled him from my life, I even heard he did something bad with one of his friend about the senior project just few days ago…
Went along to Aka, who was nice and still, but the time when he started online playing, things got tricky so it stopped!!!
Xeonash was the next, we still better friends, but at some point it was a full stop for being a substitute…
Wesso, DUH he was ummm what ummmm, eh, stupid!!!

And finally fedo, hyo, the one who caused all of this…
 ” what’s the big deal man ?!!! ” that’s what might pop in your minds right now…
I say, since Rami, I’ve never got this kind of attention before, I mean never, I don’t really know if the people in here are careless or it is me who has a critical emotional disorder?!!!
First time, I was afraid things would end up the way it ends with the previous attempts, all my friends were encouraging me, 14 Dec was the day I talked with him…
I told him about myself and all and he was surprised and looking-forward for what I am saying…
Ended up to get a successful conversation and had his e-mail and mobile so keep in touch…
At this time we went in the winter vacation, I went to meet my Japanese friends outside the country, I remember chatting with him for hours in MSN, discovered a lot of things back then…

We both love the same actress, Jassica Alba FOR THE WIN…
And we hate the same actress, Anglina Julie YUCK
We love the same movie types, Teen mysterious movies
And we hate the same movies, sci-fie movies
We love the same type of songs, although he doesn’t hear JPOP like me but it ended up for him to love Winter Love…
And we hate the same type of music, RAP FOR THE LOSE lol
He was just like a lost brother of mine…
The vacation finished and we went back to the university,,,
I was seeing him every other day we were chatting for some time and we went for lunch couple of time,,, and there is a day where we were at my home playing Xbox360 and PS3 and doing stuff with the laptop and all WOOHAAA
Not to mention in the finals we even decided to study together at the library and most of the time we were chatting not studying lol,,, we were like friends who know each other from quite sometime,,, and for the first time in years I was happy…
Over the few months we went together and done lotta stuff…
Things came to corrupt our plans, Yuri’s father death and so
Sara’s trick about her career and all
Here where everything started to get tricky,,, Hyo started to suspect,,, and I kept holding up more problems at home, my mother turned up sick, my father new relationship, things really got tricky and the illness started to hit hard on me, hyo suspecting me ?!!! now I am so going down…
What I was afraid of happened,  Hyo just decided not to ask and not to search but leave without saying a thing, he just said ” Aiz, I think am not gonna have anything to do with you anymore “
……………………………. this was just like when someone shut the door in your face inside a dark room
I tried my best to talk with him and he refused to listen to me
I tried every possible solution but he refused to accept it
Until the doctors told me the bad news…
The MS going to develop fast as my mental condition stays like that
Soon enough I will be having a critical memory problem (Amnesia) and I may not walk again just I used to do before…
That’s why I opened the one single tear dairy,,, to fight this thing
I don’t want to forget I don’t want to lose
But without him, I doubt that I will success

For all my friends who still standing up with me,,,, one single tear will remain shining…